Stephen Banks

I’m curious about people and I arrange words on pages so that I can read about them. If, while doing so, I can share my surprise and wonder with someone else, you, I will be delighted by your company and will have accomplished far more than I expected.

Thirty years ago, more than that, I sat with a poet friend in his backyard drinking his beer. His second book had just been published by a university press and he was discouraged, depressed, anxious. It was his birthday, he was fifty. (I was thirty-four and a student in a creative writing MA program at the University of Minnesota.)

He told me that he’d found the upper limits of his talent, that he’d explored those limits for years and knew exactly their elevation above sea level. He had a pilot’s license for small airplanes, one of his poems described him flying with his father in dangerous conditions. As pilot and poet he knew at what altitude he ran out of oxygen.

And so now what? He’d spent his entire adult life working as an adjunct teacher, wandering in and out of various colleges and classrooms around town for scant money, scarce thanks and little recognition. He’d sacrificed the social, professional and material symbols of success to pursue his dream. In his confession he’d come up short.

And so now what?

I’ve long since lost track of my poet friend. But I understood clearly his choice and his path. I don’t have his courage. I dropped out of graduate school (I’d been in the program for a couple of years and had become increasingly skeptical of its relevance) and started a construction company with my brother, Dave. And for twenty-eight years I ran a business that  provided me with modest symbols of success. When I could, I retired.

So that I can arrange words on pages and search for the upper limits of my talent.

I’ve been married to Jane for 30 years. We have two children, Eli and Coco. Both  have graduated from college and are living fascinating and productive lives.

The mother of my children, my rock, my confidant, my best and most supportive critic, friend, soulmate and fearless teller of truths, Jane is the love of my life.